Constant Combat

There are people I know who are in constant conflict.  We aren’t talking about warriors; we are talking about regular people who, from one day to the next, always seem to be involved in one event or another in which they feel like they must choose a side and fight.  Every day, every shift, they are irresistibly drawn to drama.

Even if it isn’t incredibly stressful at first, after a while, it is. It’s like a constant stream of water wearing away at you until eventually you realize the rift it has created is now a canyon.  We have to be selective about our battles. Constant battle also gives others the impression that you are a belligerent. Others may only choose to approach you in a defensive posture. If you wonder why you are always in conflict, this could be the issue itself. Constant combat numbs you to battles that really do require a fight.

Conflict occurs when values and perspectives contradict. Conflict is inevitable. Conflict is often necessary. Conflict motivates us to participate and to be productive, but conflict is a problem if we can’t manage it.  It is said that people who are obstructed are out of balance. The consistent imbalance is bad energy and it only produces more bad energy.

Good leaders must maintain balance; the only way to achieve that balance is to be open to more ideas, even the ones you disagree with. While I’m not saying you have to embrace them, you should still understand their perspective, as it will help you to understand your own perspective that much better. And while you may think you are right now, perhaps you can see where the other person has issues with your argument, or may even see that you don’t have all the facts. No sensible argument should be built upon a fallacy.

2 Comments

  • It seems like once someone becomes so ingrained in the fight, they need that stimulation. The department I left had a few, one in particular who would come in extra-early and “do things” just to have something to bitch about and point blame at someone else for. The only way to back him off was to tell him, point blank, “Go #$%# yourself”. That’s the only thing he responded to… It’s no surprise that he’s got high blood pressure, is always ill, has numerous medical complaints, and is never happy. The unhappiness is killing him, and it makes working with him a bitch.

    I didn’t realize how bad that place was until I left. My analogy is, “once you’ve been miserable for so long, you get to be happy being miserable. You don’t notice how miserable you really are until it’s gone.” I actually look forward to going to work again, don’t fight to get out of bed on duty days, and enjoy the people I work with. I had forgotten how nice that is.

    • truck6alpha says:

      I agree. There are some people who are just not happy unless they are unhappy. I once experienced a situation where an individual just could not get with the program and never had anything good to say about the organization. One day I had enough and simply said, “You know, all of the rest of us were perfectly happy BEFORE you came here and we don’t think this is a bad place to work; maybe it’s time for YOU to go.”

      Unfortunately, sometimes that doesn’t even work.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts-

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